This  is the  website of   Sparky's Corner and the home of   Hal Krause.   Sparky's Corner    is the remains of one of the northwest's   largest    BBS   from 1989-1995.     Sparky's Corner    has grown from and online file store with    45,000 downloadable files to a family   Web   site that is just for   Hal's   personal pleasure. The pictures and History contained here are of   Hal's   Family and friends. If you know   Hal   you might see your picture here.


Enjoy your stay!  I will be adding history and pictures as time permits. Check the history to see the progress

What would you say?

  • Do pilots take crash-courses?
  • Does killing time damage eternity?
  • Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
  • Why do they call it chili, if it's hot?
  • Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
  • How do you get off a nonstop flight?
  • How can there be self-help "groups?"
  • Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?
  • Does that screwdriver belong to Philip?
  • Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
  • Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?
  • If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
  • How many weeks are there in a light year?
  • Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?
  • How come wrong numbers are never busy?
  • How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
  • Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?
  • Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop?
  • Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?
  • Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
  • If cats and dogs didn't have fur, would we still pet them?
  • Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'?
  • If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
  • Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
  • If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
  • Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
  • If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?
  • If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
  • If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
  • Day light savings time? Why are they saving it, and where do they keep it?
  • Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?
  • Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there?
  • If swimming is good for your shape,then why do the whales look the way they do?
  • If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?
  • If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing "Happy Birthday?"
  • Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID, he just whipped out a quarter?
  • Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?


Inflation Video

Little Test

A gentle explanation of the difference in thinking between people with opposite outlooks.

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be very liberal, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs.

The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?"

She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes
because she's too hung over."

Her wise father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA."

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That's a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I've worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!"

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, "Welcome to the conservative side of the fence."

If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and Jesus silenced. 

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended."



“An interesting letter in the Australian Shooter Magazine this week, which I quote: "If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theater of operations during the past 22 months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers.

The firearm death rate in Washington , DC is 80.6 per 100,000 for the same period. That means you are about 25 per cent more likely to be shot and killed in the US capital, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the US , than you are in Iraq.

Conclusion: "The US should pull out of Washington ."


Ø    Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than 
standing in a garage makes you a car. 

Ø   I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that
way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. 
Ø    Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his
level  and beat you with experience. 
Ø    I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.
Not  screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. 
Ø    The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on
the  list. 
Ø    Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people
appear  bright until you hear them speak. 
Ø    If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong. 
Ø    We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in
Ø    War does not determine who is right - only who is left. 
Ø    Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not
putting  it in a fruit salad. 
Ø    The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets
the  cheese.
Ø    Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and
then  proceed to tell you why it isn't. 
Ø    To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from
many  is research. 
Ø    A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where
a  train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. 
Ø    How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but
it  takes a whole box to start a campfire? 
Ø    Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for
anything,  but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the
Ø    Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity,
they  can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw
them  fish. 
Ø   I  thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay
Ø    A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove
that  you don't need it. 
Ø    Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says
"If an  emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". 
Ø    I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 
Ø    I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on
it...so I  said "Implants?" 
Ø    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four
billion  stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? 
Ø    Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down
the  street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they
are  sexy. 
Ø    Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for
president  and 50 for Miss America ? 
Ø    Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of
a  successful man is usually another woman. 
Ø    A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 
Ø    You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a
parachute to skydive twice. 
Ø    The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some
good  ideas! 
Ø    Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it 
Ø    A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such
a  way that you will look forward to the trip. 
Ø    Hospitality:  making your guests feel like they're at home,
even if you wish they were. 
Ø    Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier
to  live with. 
Ø    I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be 
devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my  foot.
Ø    Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever
they  go. 
Ø    I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. 
Ø    I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of
lemon,  and a shot of tequila. 
Ø    When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the
Fire  Department usually uses water. 
Ø    You're never too old to learn something stupid. 
Ø    To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call
whatever  you hit the target. 
Ø    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. 
Ø    Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others
have  no imagination whatsoever. 
Ø    A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after
it  as when you are in it. 
Ø    Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.


I am a member of golf’s lower 99%.

I am an indifferent golfer, and there’s no way I could ever make it to the professional level. Never put in the practice time to be the best. Never had the shots, skills, or mental toughness to “make it” in the sport. I just never felt like working all that hard at it.

However, I feel I should be paid by the top 1% of golfers for what I do. It isn't fair that those players who have worked harder, have studied the game, have better equipment and are more skilled and dedicated should make all that BIG money.

Where's my share? I’m a Victim!

The top 1% should pay for my club memberships and green fees and lessons, buy me new clubs, balls, clothes and shoes, and pay me some of their winnings. They can afford it. They are “The Rich .” The whole system should be changed to accommodate people like me. Let's occupy a golf course and demand that those who are better at what they do pay for us who generally suck. Whining should get us something, like the cover of Time Magazine and public sympathy! Maybe a law or 2 from legislators who want our votes.

(Don’t mention this to tennis players. We thought of it first.)